It took me a while to arrive at a title for my blog. I wanted a blog that would express my personality but have some gravitas to it. For days, I pondered what would best fit me. I love animals and considered a theme of bunnies or dogs but readers may not take a "cutsie" blog seriously and, just like a job interview or a book title, the presentation and title of a blog can repel or attract a reader at a mere glance and many of the topics about which I will write will be serious. Also, I am not a pet owner nor do any of my hobbies involve animals so I discarded that theme.
Sometimes our best ideas come through what is best described as divine inspiration and the pure logic of "Solitude" made absolute sense. I am not a person of many hobbies. I frequently travel with my husband to Europe and other areas but, when I'm at home, my only hobbies are reading (especially love true crime), socializing through Facebook or emails, and surfing the internet reading other interesting blogs and sites. Even when I do venture out to see a movie or shop, I'm usually alone - but never lonely.
The truth is that solitude is the best gift I can give to myself and I am very privileged to have the leisure time to engage in "me" time and I wanted the title and description of my blog to reflect one of my biggest pleasures. I also want my blog to remind readers that solitude is not synonymous with loneliness if they are comfortable in their skin and that there is no directive that we have to move in packs. My best moments have been those when I have done activities on my own. The other day I saw a movie called "Drag Me to Hell." Now, honestly, how many other of my friends would have agreed to see this with me? I can't think of any because I like strange movies. Not even my husband, John, wanted to touch this one. I had the time of my life! If I'm with others, I rarely get to see the movie I want because I'm a people-pleaser and will usually go with the flow but what a pleasure it was to sit down with a delicious bag of high calorie movie popcorn, a Pepsi and watch a movie about a woman trying to avoid her cursed fate of going to hell. No compromising needed this time!
I also enjoy bowling but can't get anyone to go with me because it's not a real popular hobby. John has tennis elbows so he can't bowl. I could join a league but that requires a long-term commitment, meetings and sometimes socializing which I would not enjoy. Thus, every once in a while I go bowling alone and I know some of you are wondering what sense it makes to bowl if one is not competing. But I am competing - against myself. Each time I bowl, I try to improve my previous score plus I do it mostly for the fun. I'll also drink a White Russian while I bowl and that adds a little spice to the experience. I don't have to wait for my turn or have other team-mates grumble if my ball falls in the gutter - no pressure, just fun.
This will seem lazy to many of you who have children and responsibilities that I don't have but there are weekends when I don't want to leave the house and I simply do nothing but read books, magazines and get on the internet. I can read a book for hours on end and, if I tire of that, there's the internet. I have no compulsion to socialize. Don't get me wrong - I am married; John and I do mutual activities together from time to time and enjoy each other but we have separate interests and we each tend to do our own thing a lot of times. We've been married 14 years and rarely rely on each other for entertainment other than travel. I also have other family in Austin who I enjoy visiting and would love to see more often and I have a couple of friends in town but, for the most part, other than my husband puttering about the house, I lead a life of solitude, reading, posting and sipping Java from my bed.
The need to be busy and to avoid solitude are not good traits. Women often receive a lot of criticism if they don't spend 24/7 taking care of others whether it be a boss, a husband, child, friend or family member. But we are no good to others if we don't take the chance to step away from it all, to be alone with our thoughts, to find out how we really feel about things instead of relying on others to tell us how we should feel or act. And we do a disservice to ourselves if we don't engage in occasional independent activities like reading or meditating. Of course, there are times when we can't disengage for long periods of time - I can't do so during the work day but I'll grab whatever few minutes of "me" time that I can. Sometimes, during lunch, I'll shut the door, listen to some classical music and just lean back in my chair, feet on my desk and just think of nothing for about 20 minutes or think of something soothing like the beach, forest, etc. (If you're at work - don't do it for longer than 20 minutes or else risk falling asleep)! There are all sorts of formal meditation suggestions out there but the 20 minutes of just chilling inside the office re-energizes me similarly to what formal meditation can do. Here's another trick - if you want to take a short 5-10 minute break during the day but you can't shut your office door - go to the bathroom - usually the biggest stall is open. And, if you enjoy reading, read your book in there. Others may come in and out but they won't disturb you. Literally, at some offices, that's the only place to hide out.
I appreciate you reading my blog. I hope you find some inspiration and good ideas from my post today and I look forward to reading your comments.
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